Sand & Stone

"When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it."

~ Unknown

Filling the Cracks with Gold

"When the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold. They believe that when something's suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful." 

 ~Barbara Bloom

Sweet Peace

James E. Faust:

"Sometimes we carry unhappy feelings about past hurts too long. We spend too much energy dwelling on things that have passed and cannot be changed. We struggle to close the door and let go of the hurt. If, after time, we can forgive whatever may have caused the hurt, we will tap 'into a life-giving source of comfort' through the Atonement, and the 'sweet peace' of forgiveness will be ours. Some injuries are so hurtful and deep that healing comes only with help from a higher power and hope for perfect justice and restitution in the next life. . . . You can tap into that higher power and receive precious comfort and sweet peace."
"Instruments in the Hands of God," Ensign, Nov. 2005, 115, and,  ("My Journey to Forgiving," Ensign, Feb. 1997. 43)

Forgiveness: My Burden was Made Light

Setting the Prisoner Free

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you"
Lewis B. Smedes

Blame

Great quote!

"All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you."

Wayne Dyer

Courageously Forgive

From the amazing talk by James E. Faust, called 'The Healing Power of Forgiveness':

"Dr. Sidney Simon, a recognized authority on values realization, has provided an excellent definition of forgiveness as it applies to human relationships:

“Forgiveness is freeing up and putting to better use the energy once consumed by holding grudges, harboring resentments, and nursing unhealed wounds. It is rediscovering the strengths we always had and relocating our limitless capacity to understand and accept other people and ourselves.”

Most of us need time to work through pain and loss. We can find all manner of reasons for postponing forgiveness. One of these reasons is waiting for the wrongdoers to repent before we forgive them. Yet such a delay causes us to forfeit the peace and happiness that could be ours. The folly of rehashing long-past hurts does not bring happiness.

Some hold grudges for a lifetime, unaware that courageously forgiving those who have wronged us is wholesome and therapeutic."

Re-Turn

"The scriptures speak of His arms being open, extended, stretched out, and encircling. They are described as mighty and holy, arms of mercy, arms of safety, arms of love, “lengthened out all the day long.”

We have each felt to some extent these spiritual arms around us. We have felt His forgiveness, His love and comfort. The Lord has said, “I am he [who] comforteth you.”

The Lord’s desire that we come unto Him and be wrapped in His arms is often an invitation to repent. “Behold, he sendeth an invitation unto all men, for the arms of mercy are extended towards them, and he saith: Repent, and I will receive you.”

When we sin, we turn away from God. When we repent, we turn back toward God.

The invitation to repent is rarely a voice of chastisement but rather a loving appeal to turn around and to “re-turn” toward God. It is the beckoning of a loving Father and His Only Begotten Son to be more than we are, to reach up to a higher way of life, to change, and to feel the happiness of keeping the commandments. Being disciples of Christ, we rejoice in the blessing of repenting and the joy of being forgiven. They become part of us, shaping the way we think and feel."
(Neil L. Andersen, “‘Repent … That I May Heal You’,” Liahona, Nov 2009, 40–43)

An Example of What Bitterness Can Do

From a talk given by Elder David Sorensen:

"I grew up in a small farming town where water was the lifeblood of the community. I remember the people of our society constantly watching, worrying, and praying over the rain, irrigation rights, and water in general. Sometimes my children chide me; they say they never knew someone so preoccupied with rain. I tell them I suppose that’s true because where I grew up the rain was more than a preoccupation. It was a matter of survival!

Under the stress and strain of our climate, sometimes people weren’t always at their best. Occasionally, neighbors would squabble over one farmer taking too long a turn from the irrigation ditch. That’s how it started with two men who lived near our mountain pasture, whom I will call Chet and Walt. These two neighbors began to quarrel over water from the irrigation ditch they shared. It was innocent enough at first, but over the years the two men allowed their disagreements to turn into resentment and then arguments—even to the point of threats.

One July morning both men felt they were once again short of water. Each went to the ditch to see what had happened, each in his own mind reckoning the other had stolen his water. They arrived at the headgate at the same time. Angry words were exchanged; a scuffle ensued. Walt was a large man with great strength. Chet was small, wiry, and tenacious. In the heat of the scuffle, the shovels the men were carrying were used as weapons. Walt accidentally struck one of Chet’s eyes with the shovel, leaving him blind in that eye.

Months and years passed, yet Chet could not forget nor forgive. The anger that he felt over losing his eye boiled inside him, and his hatred grew more intense. One day, Chet went to his barn, took down the gun from its rack, got on his horse, and rode down to the headgate of the ditch. He put a dam in the ditch and diverted the water away from Walt’s farm, knowing that Walt would soon come to see what had happened. Then Chet slipped into the brush and waited. When Walt appeared, Chet shot him dead. Then he got on his horse, went back to his home, and called the sheriff to inform him that he had just shot Walt.

My father was asked to be on the jury that tried Chet for murder. Father disqualified himself because he was a longtime friend of both men and their families. Chet was tried and convicted of murder and sentenced to life in prison.

After many years, Chet’s wife came to my father and asked if he would sign a petition to the governor, asking for clemency for her husband, whose health was now broken after serving so many years in the state penitentiary. Father signed the petition. A few nights later, two of Walt’s grown sons appeared at our door. They were very angry and upset. They said that because Father had signed the petition, many others had signed. They asked Father to have his name withdrawn from the petition. He said no. He felt that Chet was a broken and sick man. He had suffered these many years in prison for that terrible crime of passion. He wanted to see Chet have a decent funeral and burial beside his family.

Walt’s sons whirled in anger and said, “If he is released from prison, we will see that harm comes to him and his family.”

Chet was eventually released and allowed to come home to die with his family. Fortunately, there was no further violence between the families. My father often lamented how tragic it was that Chet and Walt, these two neighbors and boyhood friends, had fallen captive to their anger and let it destroy their lives. How tragic that the passion of the moment was allowed to escalate out of control—eventually taking the lives of both men—simply because two men could not forgive each other over a few shares of irrigation water.

The Savior said, “Agree with thine adversary quickly, whiles thou art in the way with him,” 1 thus commanding us to resolve our differences early on, lest the passions of the moment escalate into physical or emotional cruelty, and we fall captive to our anger.

Nowhere does this principle apply more than in our families. Your specific concern may not be water, but each of us on earth, living under the stress and strain of this telestial climate, will have reason—real or perceived—to take offense. How will we react? Will we take offense? Will we find fault? Will we let the passions of the moment overcome us?

President Brigham Young once compared being offended to a poisonous snakebite. He said that “there are two courses of action to follow when one is bitten by a rattlesnake. One may, in anger, fear, or vengefulness, pursue the creature and kill it. Or he may make full haste to get the venom out of his system.” He said, “If we pursue the latter course we will likely survive, but if we attempt to follow the former, we may not be around long enough to finish it.”
(David E. Sorensen, “Forgiveness Will Change Bitterness to Love,” Liahona, May 2003, 10–12)

Forgiveness Will Change Bitterness to Love

I found this quite powerful when I read it. What are your thoughts?

"Forgiveness means that problems of the past no longer dictate our destinies, and we can focus on the future with God’s love in our hearts."
(David E. Sorensen, “Forgiveness Will Change Bitterness to Love,” Liahona, May 2003, 10–12)

Reconciliation

Anne C. Pingree:

"I remember a time when, without any intent to do so, I offended a sister in my ward. I needed to reconcile this issue, but I must admit that my pride kept me from going to her and asking for her forgiveness. Family, other commitments, on and on--I found ways to postpone my repentance. I was sure things would work out on their own. But they didn't.

"In the stillness of not one night but several, I awoke with a clear realization that I was not taking the course the Lord would want me to take. I was not acting on my faith that His arm of mercy was truly extended towards me--if I would act aright. I prayed for strength and courage, humbled myself, and went to the sister's home and asked for her forgiveness. For us both, it proved to be a sweet, healing experience."

"To Look, Reach, and Come unto Christ," Ensign, Nov. 2006, 114-15

A Sign of True Hope

From a talk given by John H. Groberg:

"I often hear people talk of hope .... They say, "Well, I hope he gets what's coming," or, "I hope justice is done." Don't worry about that. He or she will. The ones we ought to worry about are ourselves.

We spend so much time and effort seeking remedies or justice (on spiritual things especially) "here and now" when, in fact, much, if not most, of justice will be done "there and then." We ought to spend time and effort here and now to prepare for there and then. Most "justice" occurs after this life. We ought to be glad it does, for so much went on before and will go on after of which we are not aware--but God is aware.

If we are to have a fullness of hope (and that is our goal--hope in all things), our hope must transcend this mortal existence. It had better, or as Paul indicated, "If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable" (1 Corinthians 15:19). One who has true hope in Christ will not judge others.

From a remarkable talk give by President Stephen L. Richards in April of 1956, let me quote:

The Lord has said, "I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men" (D&C 64:10). If we were more liberal in our forgiveness, we would be more encouraging to repentance. Someone has said that the supreme charity of the world is in obedience to the divine injunction, "Judge not." When the Savior gave that injunction, he was well aware of the limitations of human understanding and sympathy. We can see overt acts but we cannot see inner feelings nor can we read intentions. An all-wise Providence in making judgment sees and knows all the phases of human conduct. We know but few of the phases, and none very well. To be considerate and kind in judgment is a Christlike attribute. [Stephen L. Richards, April Conference, 8 April 1956]

Those with hope, then, do not judge. When I hear of people making judgments (and we all do more than we want to--we do too much--and it is a sign of our having less hope than we should), I think, "Who do we think we are anyway? The very best of us, the most kind or most loving and forgiving among us is only, as it were, in kindergarten--or lower."
(John H. Groberg, 'There is Always Hope', BYU, 3 Jun 1984)

Get the Venom or Pursue the Creature?

"It is reported that President Brigham Young once said that he who takes offense when no offence was intended is a fool, and he who takes offense when offense was intended is usually a fool. It was then explained that there are two courses if action to follow when one is bitten by a rattlesnake. One may, in anger, fear, or vengefulness, pursue the creature and kill it. Or he may make full haste to get the venom out of his system. If we pursue the latter course, we will likely survive, but if we attempt to follow the former, we may not be around for long enough to finish what we started".
(Elder Marion D Hanks, "Forgiveness: The Ultimate Form of Love")

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I just really liked that too. I think not forgiving people is ..... stupid (don't know what other word to use here...) and is something that is as a result of selfish pride. The Saviour died so that we would be able to be forgiven, so what right do we have withold forgiveness from another? I am sure this is what is lacking in the majority of marriages/relationships that struggle.

Witholding Love

From Elder Marion D Hanks's talk called "Forgiveness: The Ultimate Form of Love":

"Someone has written: The witholding of love is the negation of the spirit of Christ, the proof that we never knew him, that for us he lived in vain. It means that he suggested nothing in all our thoughts, that he inspired nothing in all our lives, that we were not once near enough to him to be seized with the spell of his compassion for the world". Christ's example and instructions to his friends are clear. He forgave, and he said, "Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you". (Matthew 5:44)

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When I read this it, the part that really struck me is where it says, 'the witholding of love is the ..... proof that we never knew him, that for us he lived in vain'. I think it's sometimes so easy to 'withold' love from people - but it is so important to 'show' love to people, the genuine kind of love which softens peoples hearts, and helps them to see who they are more clearly. It would be a feeling I don't think I could handle to be told at the end of my days that I never really came to know Christ during my life - I can't imagine a worse possible feeling.

When Are You Going To Really Live?

I read this somewhere (but I don't remember where) and copied it down. Hope you like it:

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"I am discovering that many people want, above all else, to live life fully. But sometimes the past prohibits our living and enjoying life to the utmost in the present. A schoolteacher entered his room a few minutes early and noticed a mealworm laboriously crawling along the floor. It had somehow been injured. The back part of the worm was dead and dried up, but still attached to the front, living part by just a thin thread. As the teacher studied the strange sight of a poor worm pulling its dead half across the floor, a little girl ran in and noticed it there. Picking it up, she said, "Oh, Oscar, when are you going to lose that dead part so you can really live?" What a marvelous question for all of us! When are we going to lose that dead part so we can really live? When are we going to let go of past pain so we can live fully? When are we going to drop the baggage of needless guilt - guilt over things we have been forgiven for or need never have felt guilty for - so we can experience life? When are we going to let go of that past resentment so we can know peace? Have you been dragging something that is dead and gone around with you? Are you ready to "lose that dead part so you can really live"?

Alfred D. Souza said, "For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, and a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life."

So stop waiting until you finish school, until you go back to school, until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten pounds, until you have kids, until your kids leave the house, until you start work, until you retire, until you get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night, until Sunday morning, until you get a new car or home, until your car or home is paid off , until spring, until summer, until fall, until winter, until you are off welfare, until the first or fifteenth, until your ship comes in or your song comes on, until you've had a drink, until you've sobered up, until you've got it all done, until you die, until you are born again to decide that there is no better time than right now to be happy......Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

Thought for the day: Work like you don't need money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like no one's watching.

What is Our Response?

Elder Marion D Hanks said in January 1974:

Christ’s example and instructions to his friends are clear. He forgave, and he said: “… Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.” (Matt. 5:44.)

What is our response when we are offended, misunderstood, unfairly or unkindly treated, or sinned against, made an offender for a word, falsely accused, passed over; hurt by those we love, our offerings rejected? Do we resent, become bitter, hold a grudge? Or do we resolve the problem if we can, forgive, and rid ourselves of the burden? The nature of our response to such situations may well determine the nature and quality of our lives, here and eternally. A courageous friend, her faith refined by many afflictions, said to me only hours ago, “Humiliation must come before exaltation.”

It is required of us to forgive. Our salvation depends upon it. In a revelation given in 1831 the Lord said:

“My disciples, in days of old, sought occasion against one another and forgave not one another in their hearts; and for this evil they were afflicted and sorely chastened.

“Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin.

“I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.”

(D&C 64:8–10.)
(“Conference Excerpts,” New Era, Jan. 1974, 6

Why wait??

Be Kind

"Be one who nurtures and who builds. Be one who has an understanding and a forgiving heart, who looks for the best in people. Leave people better than you found them. If we could look into each other's hearts and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently..."

(Marvin J. Ashton, Ensign, May 1992)

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"And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

"Wherefore, be not weary in well–doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great.

(Ephesians 4:32; D&C 64:33)

Spiritual Lightning

This is from one of my favorite gospel writers:

“And now, my brethren, I desire that ye shall plant this word [the doctrine of Christ] in your hearts, and as it beginneth to swell even so nourish it by your faith. And behold, it will become a tree, springing up in you unto everlasting life. And then may God grant unto you that your burdens may be light, through the joy of his Son. And even all this can ye do if ye will. Amen.” (Alma 33:23).

Having burdens lightened through the joy of the Lord Jesus Christ requires planting in the soul a spiritual knowledge of things as they really are (see Jacob 4:13). Much of the heaviness that we bear develops from a faith that is not sufficiently informed.

When we are weighed down by the problems of a telestial world, we need some spiritual lightening. Spiritual lightening suggests spiritual principles and powers that can light up our minds and lighten our loads. It may be possible to assume too great a burden and to take it all too seriously. This is possible even when the damages in our lives involve sex, drugs, and other heavy sorrows – because virtually all damage, innocently incurred, or self-inflicted, is ultimately reversible through the Lord Jesus Christ. It is spiritual lightening to realize that in most cases the actual details of the elements of our lives matter less than what we choose to become in the midst of them”.
(from ‘Spiritual Lightening’ by M. Catherine Thomas, p.2 & 7)

I think that is a powerful statement that “the actual details of the elements of our lives matter less than what we choose to become in the midst of them”. The “why me?” questions are often the ones which accentuate the burdens we face, and the way forward is when we start answering the questions of “what am I to learn?” and “who am I to help?” because of these things.

As we come unto the Lord with full purpose of heart we will see things as they really are, because we will have the vision of eternity.

How Not to Drown

This is an entry from my journal from a few years ago:

This is probably going to be one of my thoughts where you think – “Sarah, you think way too much!”

Nevertheless, here I go again!

I went swimming yesterday, and those of you who know me well, know that the water and I are not the best of friends. People keep telling me that you can’t drown if you relax, as you will just bob to the top. As yet, that theory remains unproven and is just a ‘nice story’ as far as I am concerned. However, last night I did make some headway and was a lot more relaxed, and did notice that the more I let the water carry me, the easier it was, and a lot more enjoyable (I’m even considering not doing my usual deathbed repentance before stepping into the pool next week:).

Well, as I was a kicking and a splashing this familiar scripture kept coming into my mind:

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
“Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
“For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
(Matthew 11:28 - 30)

Just as I had to trust the water to carry my heavy body, so must we trust the Lord with our heavy burdens. He is eager to take them from us, and as we let go of our fears and worries He will carry us, life will be easier and more enjoyable also. I really have a firm testimony of this, and no matter how unnerving it can feel to let everything go to the Lord there is no feeling, or freedom, like it. I know He will never fail us, He is the Living Water who keeps us safe.

I hope you have a really great day!

Unkept Promises

Elder Neal A Maxwell:

"The heaviest load we feel is often from the weight of our unkept promises and our unresolved sins, which press down relentlessly upon us".

I love this quote because it is so true! We can feel so much more happiness than we do, so much more quickly, if we put off that natural man. The atonement can take an immediate effect upon our hearts if our desires are sincere.

The Saviour loves us and is eager to take the weight from us, I really know this is true.