Choose Your Love, Love Your Choice

"Choose your love, love your choice."

~Thomas S. Monson

Privately Parent, Publicly Praise

"Mock your children as they struggle and they will learn to never share their struggles with you." (Shared from this great article, worth the read!:

GREAT article "privately parent and publicly praise" your children. My Mission President, gave some great marriage advice years before I got married - to paraphrase him -, 'do not talk badly about your spouse in front of others', there is a time and a place to share concerns or problems with a few select TRUSTED friends/family, but to focus on negative behavior and feelings in your children or your spouse only serves to give a breeding ground for the feelings to grow in your heart. I'm a big believer in "As a man thinketh so is he", and positive thoughts lead to positive feelings, and positive feelings lead to positive behavior. In my humble opinion;)

A Successful Marriage

Love this!

"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times and always with the same person." 

-Mignon McLaughlin

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A Love Everyone Deserves

"It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80′s arrived at the hospital to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am. The nurse took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would be able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound. While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor’s appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer’s Disease. As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now. I was surprised, and asked him, ‘And you still go every morning, even though she doesn’t know who you are?’ He smiled as he patted my hand and said, ‘She doesn’t know me, but I still know who she is.’"

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A Relationship that Lasts

"A relationship that lasts is one with Christ in the center. Two people putting God first, seeking Him in every way possible, in order to be as good a spouse as one can be. It’s about trusting in one another and trusting God’s plan, that He will build your relationship into one that will last for eternity."

Taken from Sugardoodle!

Equal Partners

President Marion G. Romney taught: “[A husband and wife] should be one in harmony, respect, and mutual consideration. Neither should plan or follow an independent course of action. They should consult, pray, and decide together. … Remember that neither the wife nor the husband is the slave of the other. Husbands and wives are equal partners”.

Expressions of Love

Incase you haven't seen it:)

One for the Husbands

Gordon B. Hinckley:

“You men who are husbands of wives, how great is your responsibility to be good men, to be good husbands! Never abuse your wives. Never abuse your children. But gather them in your arms and make them feel of your love and your appreciation and your respect. Be good husbands. Be good fathers. Don’t you ever forget that if you ever go to the highest degree of glory in the celestial kingdom, you will go hand in hand with your wife. You will not go alone. If you go, you will go together. She is a daughter of God, just as you are a son of God, and deserves the very best that you can give. Love, appreciate, and be true to the one you married”.

(regional conference, priesthood leadership session, Ciudad Juárez, Mexico, 14 Mar. 1998)

Be Grateful to be a Woman!

"Each of you should be grateful to be a woman! Self-pity is always a sad thing to see and especially when there is no justification for it. To be a righteous woman is a glorious thing in any age. To be a righteous woman during the winding up scenes on this earth, before the second coming of our Savior, is an especially noble calling. The righteous woman’s strength and influence today can be tenfold what it might be in more tranquil times. She has been placed here to help to enrich, to protect, and to guard the home—which is society’s basic and most noble institution. Other institutions in society may falter and even fail, but the righteous woman can help to save the home, which may be the last and only sanctuary some mortals know in the midst of storm and strife.

"One of the important messages that emerges from the history of great women in all ages is that they cared more for the future of their families than for their own comfort. Such good women had a grasp of what matters in life. When called upon to do so, they could fashion a lovely city in the midst of a swamp or make the desert blossom as a rose.

"Selflessness is a key to happiness and effectiveness; it is precious and must be preserved as a virtue which guarantees so many other virtues. There are so many things in the world which reinforce our natural selfishness, and neither our men nor women should be partakers thereof. We have grown strong as a people because our mothers and our women have been so selfless. That ennobling quality must not be lost, even though some of the people of the world may try to persuade otherwise."

(Spencer W. Kimball, “Privileges and Responsibilities of Sisters,” Ensign, Nov 1978, 101)

Re-posted from Nurture Mama.

How Do You Know If Someone Is Right For You?

Ezra Taft Benson:

"One good yardstick as to whether a person might be the right one for you is this: in her presence, do you think your noblest thoughts, do you aspire to your finest deeds, do you wish you were better than you are?"

(To the Single Adult Brethren of the Church," Ensign, May 1988, 53)

This is good counsel that applies not only to dating, but friendships and associations too. Are you someone who makes others feel that way?

Marriage & Divorce - Dallin H. Oaks

Thoughts on Marriage

Here are Harold B. Lee’s thoughts on marriage:
"The ideal partner may not exist. The ideal man or woman of your dreams that you plan one day to select as your life's companion very likely really doesn't exist, although you may think so when you fall in love, for your ideal is probably a composite of the best qualities you have observed in any number of your choice associates.

Resolve to sacrifice for each other. If [young people] would resolve from the moment of their marriage, that from that time forth they would resolve and do everything in their power to please each other in things that are right, even to the sacrifice of their own pleasures, their own appetites, their own desires, the problem of adjustment in married life would take care of itself, and their home would indeed be a happy home. Great love is built on great sacrifice, and that home where the principle of sacrifice for the welfare of each other is daily expressed is that home where there abides a great love.

Wives and husbands need love to be happy. What is our relationship with our wife? Someone has said the opposite of love is not hate; the opposite of love is apathy. And I say to you brethren, the most dangerous thing that can happen between you and your wife or between me and my wife is apathy—not hate, but for them to feel that we are not interested in their affairs, that we are not expressing our love and showing our affection in countless ways. Women, to be happy, have to be loved and so do men. Someone has said that little children soon outgrow their love or their need for the love of a mother, but husbands never do. We need that, but we have to give love; we have to express love to our wives if we expect it in return.

Developing love in marriage takes effort. In answer to the teenage daughter who asked: "Mother, how do you fall in love?" the wise mother had answered: "My darling, you don't fall in love, you must keep working at it all the time." Yes, love is like faith, it isn't something you can capture today and it will remain with you always. It must be nurtured day after day by a husband who continues to "court" his wife after marriage by studiously trying to do the things that will make her happy. Someone has aptly said that "a woman happy with her husband was better for her children than a hundred books on child welfare." The flame of romantic desire in marriage is fanned each day by a wise companion who wins her man every day she lives with him. Marriages are not successful merely because these couples have fewer problems than others, but they are successful because, when problems come, as come they will, a husband and wife sit down together to solve their problems like grown-up, mature individuals, rather than with the immaturity of adolescence.

A wife should sustain her husband. Several years ago when Sister David O. McKay, the wife of our President, was in the hospital, I called to see her just after the President had been there, and she said in her sweet way, "You know, I think he misses me." And I replied, "I am sure he does." Then she said with a smile, "I have always tried to be where I thought he needed me the most." There you are, you sisters, try to be where you feel your husbands need you the most.

Wives, have your family prayers, even when you must take the lead. See that your husband takes the lead in that, if you can. See that he attends his priesthood meetings, that he responds to the call to do home teaching, and then do everything you can, lovingly and patiently, to help him to perform and magnify his duties".
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What springs to mind is: “As I have loved you, love one another” (John 14:15). That holds true for all relationships we have. The Saviour is our perfect example of how to love.

The Secret of a Happy Marriage

“I have long felt that happiness in marriage is not so much a matter of romance as it is an anxious concern for the comfort and well-being of one’s companion,” said President Gordon B. Hinckley. “That involves a willingness to overlook weaknesses and mistakes.”

“The secret of a happy marriage is to serve God and each other,” taught President Ezra Taft Benson. “The goal of marriage is unity and oneness, as well as self-development. Paradoxically, the more we serve one another, the greater is our spiritual and emotional growth.”
(“Strengthening the Family: A Solemn Responsibility to Love and Care,” Ensign, July 2005)

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Mosiah 18:21:
“And he commanded them that there should be no contention one with another, but that they should look forward with one eye, having one faith and one baptism, having their hearts knit together in unity and in love one towards another.”

I like the thought of “hearts being knit together”, a weaving of attributes and characteristics, which sometimes looks like it’s going in different directions, but is really an overlooking of weakness, underpinned with service – which when put together creates something that is warm, beautiful and lasting.

Seeing Eternity

I really liked this part of a book I recently read called “House of Glory” by S. Michael Wilcox:

“We should also realize the words, the covenants, the clothing, and the architecture all present opportunities for wonderful insight. I once learned a great lesson on marriage while witnessing the sealing of a relative. After the ceremony, I stood with my wife looking into the mirrors that reflect a strait and narrow path into eternity. As usual, I was moving this was and that way, trying to see a little farther, but my own reflection was in the way, and I could not see as far as I waned. I remember consciously thinking: “I wish I could take myself out of the mirror. I could see eternity better, but I keep getting in the way”.

As I pondered this, the Spirit bore a strong witness to its truth. Concentrating too much on ourselves obscures our view of eternal things. I thought of all the couples I had counselled while serving as bishop and realized that in every case of marital conflict, one or both partners had focused so much on themselves that they could no longer see eternity. I wanted to bring each couple in my ward to the sealing room, stand them in front of the mirrors and say: “Can you see what we sometimes do? Can you understand the problem and also perceive the solution? The mirrors teach us a powerful truth that can strengthen, enhance, or save our marriages”.
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Psalms 27:4:
“One thing have I desired of the LORD, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to enquire in his temple.”

Have a lovely day.

Amazing

Ecclesiastes 9:9
“Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life….”

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“A young couple gave birth to a son. They named him “Amazing”, hoping that somehow he would live up to his name and do something great. Actually, he never did. In fact, all that he did was rather mundane. He never really accomplished anything great. He married, lived on the family farm, raised a family, and was the brunt of all jokes all his life because of his name.

Finally, as he grew old, he said to his wife, “When I die, please do not put my name on the gravemarker; maybe that will stop all of the jokes.” Later he died, and she was true to her promise but decided she ought to have something inscribed. She had them put, “Here lies a man who for sixty years loved and was faithful to his wife.” And now people read the inscription, then point and say, “That’s amazing.”
(Vaughn J Featherstone, “The Incomparable Christ”, p.68)

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There are some things in life which matter, and some that just don’t. This example shows one of the things which matters the most.

Hope you have a wonderful day loving each other.

Good ol' Love

"People are more influenced by love than anything else".

(George Albert Smith, 'Teachings of George Albert Smith')

How Do I Love Thee, by Jeffrey R. Holland

Elder Holland gives a powerful talk about how you can better show love for your friends, family, dates or spouse by following the example of Jesus Christ. Believe the good, doubt the bad and love like the Saviour. A great pre-valentines day message.

Successful Marriages

B y Spencer W Kimball: Successful Marriages Are Built on Selflessness

"Total unselfishness is sure to accomplish another factor in successful marriage. If one is forever seeking the interests, comforts, and happiness of the other, the love found in courtship and cemented in marriage will grow into mighty proportions. Many couples permit their marriages to become stale and their love to grow cold like old bread or worn-out jokes or cold gravy. Certainly the foods most vital for love are consideration, kindness, thoughtfulness, concern, expressions of affection, embraces of appreciation, admiration, pride, companionship,confidence, faith, partnership, equality, and interdependence."

(President Spencer W. Kimball, "Oneness in Marriage,"Ensign, Mar. 1977, 5)

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I just feel so grateful to be a member of the Church and to have the Gospel of Jesus Christ laid before me. When I think about all those qualities, most are ones which I hope to have and definitely all are ones I need to increase in, but I know that through the Saviour and His love, that I can become the daughter of God He knows I can be, and that His grace will be sufficient for me. It’s so wonderful that we can change and develop everyday don’t you think? Everyday is a brand new day:)

I hope you have such a lovely day today.